Can I Get a Box?

I have a friend who doesn’t eat leftovers. Not even leftovers of something SHE made. Me on the other hand, I LOVE leftovers. In fact, most of the time, I prefer leftovers, as I think the food tastes better the next day. There are times when I’m out to eat, I order something specifically or I make extra just so I can have the leftovers. It definitely makes grabbing lunch for the next day easier too.

Some restaurants have moved to using more environmentally friendly containers that are biodegradable. Other establishments use plastic reusable ones. I appreciate those because I use them to send my kids off with leftovers and don’t have to worry about them being returned. I cringe a little internally when someone brings me the Styrofoam ones. But that doesn't stop me from getting a box to go.

There are a lot of beneficial purposes to using boxes. As mentioned above, they help us carry food. But they also assist us in staying organized and/or storing our stuff. My sister is currently moving from one state to another, and her life right now is all about boxes. The challenge with boxes is if we aren’t careful, we can forget what is in them and they go unattended. Eventually after enough time has passed, sometimes the contents lose their meaning and can become junk.

Sometimes we can use a “box” to hold our emotions and thoughts. While this isn’t always recommended, it definitely can serve a purpose. Granted, typically when you think about self-care and wellness strategies, one of the most commonly mentioned approaches is to be present. Be in the moment, notice where you are, what you are feeling. Don’t avoid or shut down. While I’m a big proponent of mindfulness, I will argue there are times when it may be more advantageous to put all of that in a mental box, albeit temporarily.

My young adult daughter witnessed a medical emergency with a colleague last week in the middle of the school day. She was a “first responder” and to her credit she handled it like a champ. She stabilized the adult while calling 911 and also ensuring the student she was working with was secure. It was a lot for her! She called me afterwards to cry and process but then we discussed that she had to box things up to get back to class and work with her young people. It was her only choice at that moment.

My life partner also learned of an unexpected tragic loss of a friend’s young adult child. It was devastating and he knew he needed to be available to support his friend. But he dreaded it (of course). Such a hard thing to face. So again, I advised him to put his feelings in a box. Put them to the side, show up for your friend, share them with your friend as appropriate but focus on your friend.

In each of those situations, I intentionally gave that input but also shared the importance of doing that in a time-limited way, ensuring they address what was inside. My daughter spent that same night in her room journaling and processing what she experienced so she could work it through. Same thing with my partner, who talked through his memories and feelings with me the next morning to clean out that box. Dear friends, I encourage you to ask for a box when you need it. Maybe in that trying moment it is ok to store things away as long as you remember to clean it out before it’s forgotten, piles up and becomes “junk”.