5150

My daughter loves watching cop-related shows and videos. When she still lived at home, I would go into her room to check in with her and occasionally get sucked into watching one. Many of the stories were so interesting, especially as a social worker/former therapist, I found myself intrigued by the characters (I used that word intentionally). I would wonder, “What happened to this person?" “What made them snap?” I could typically only handle one episode. It was too much for me to process. She, on the other hand, could binge on them. She even toyed with the idea of going into law enforcement.

I learned that “5150” was the code used for someone who was experiencing a mental health crisis and would need to be placed in an involuntary hold for evaluation by a clinical professional. It can commonly be used when someone is going “crazy.” And there is a country song by Dierks Bentley with the same code name. In my professional world we try to steer away from using the word “crazy” as it carries stigma and connotations. So I try not to say, “that is so crazy” or “I’m going crazy,” in an effort to be considerate. However, there ARE times when I DO feel like I am out of my mind or going crazy.

I’m sure you can relate. Recently, I literally felt like I was outside of myself. I could not remember simple things, like someone’s name or I had difficulty with word retrieval or communicating in full, intelligible sentences. I realized that those things are warning signs, an alarm goes off internally, telling me I needed to stop, rest, regroup. I was aware enough to recognize the signs and take action (or inaction). What are some of your signs? How can you tell when you are maxed out? What happens to you physically? Mentally? Emotionally? What is your breaking point? And then what do you do about it? Do you just keep pushing? Can you allow yourself to slow down?

It is becoming clearer to me that it is about awareness and then giving yourself permission to rest. It is hard to do as someone who is driven. I derive so much value from my accomplishments. What I’m able to get done in a day becomes my claim of victory, my bragging rights. “I got 80% of my to do list checked off.” “I got all of my chores done.” But if we are “crazy” at the end of all of that, is it worth it? And what happens if we DON’T get all of that done?

I woke up too early for a Saturday morning because my mind was on full tilt. I had allll these things to do and I couldn’t sleep. My partner did the same thing. We hit the ground running, stressing about how we were going to squeeze it all in. So I started with my morning walk, leaving the house stressed thinking I have to hurry and get my workout in so I can get on with my day. As I was walking, I noticed my anxiety began to dissipate and I started to clearly think, “What do I REALLY have to do today? Are there things that can wait?” And not surprisingly, I was able to differentiate the essentials from the non-essentials. I came home and calmly made adjustments to my day building in breaks for some much-needed down time. I made suggestions to my partner, and he was able to do the same. The vibe in our home improved tremendously. I even got in a nap!

Friends, we get to decide how to spend our time. Give yourself permission to rest. Protect yourself from going “crazy.” Take the opportunity to evaluate your schedule and book yourself a voluntary hold.