Listen to Your Heart
As I write this, I am winding down an unexpected weekend alone. My partner has been on a golf trip with friends, and they extended their stay away which provided me with an extra day or so on my own. As with everything in life, things happen the way they are intended. Apparently, the universe knew I needed some time to myself. I am well aware that I am in the stage of life where no one depends on me for their survival (meaning I’m an empty nester and have the luxury of independence and freedom) which affords me more opportunity for rest. However, I remember the days that that wasn’t the case and how I had to be more intentional and even fight for my alone time (which I did).
Once I learned that I was going to have some extra time on my hands, my first thought was, “what are all the things I can do?” and I started listing them in my mind. I immediately sensed heaviness. My shoulders started to slump, and my body sunk under the weight of all the things I “should” do. Therefore, my second healthier thought was, “don’t make plans, go with the flow. Make decisions as needed and see how things go.” I determined to just listen to myself, my heart, my gut in the moment. Even something as simple as when I should go for a walk and how far I would go and what route I would take. Typically when I head out, I plan the path I’m going to take for the day. I determine how far I want to go. How much time can I spend? However, this time I just walked. I didn’t plan it, I just went. I would get to a corner and check-in, do I want to turn, go straight, etc. I went with my gut and proceeded the way I felt. It was a good opportunity to practice just tuning into my senses.
It's been nice to just be. Be quiet, be thoughtful, be reflective. It’s empowering to allow yourself to make choices in the moment that are in your best interest or desires. Tuning into yourself, trusting you know what is best for you. I’m currently learning to do that more, building that muscle. It’s nearly second nature to do tasks without thinking about implications. Now a neighborhood walk has very little implication but every day we are faced with unlimited numbers of things to do. Whether it’s for work or family or friends. Even the things or people that we love take time, energy and pieces of us. Most of the time we can freely and fully give in those situations. But eventually if we aren’t careful, they can take a toll. I’m trying to consciously consider, “How does this action impact my wellness?” “Is there a way I can still do the things I love/be with the people I love and take care of myself?”
I recently had a conversation with a long-time friend about this very topic. Her children live at home, and she was feeling taken for granted. She had to call a family meeting to remind everyone of their responsibilities and their contributions to family life. Ironically, within 24 hours, my sister called with a very similar story. While I haven’t had that recently at home, I have had the same experience professionally, feeling taken for granted and undervalued. I know others who can relate in either or both fronts. In all of this
1. Listen to your heart.
2. Know the value you bring.
3. Be confident about your worth and the ways you can take care of yourself.
In many cases, it will be necessary to (re) establish expectations and boundaries that protect your well-being. If you tune in, you will hear your heart yearning to give you the love you deserve to feel.