Life of the Party
When my son was in the 1st grade, many years ago, he brought home a handmade Mother’s Day present for me. You’ve all seen them. Words spelled phonetically and adorned with cute amateur artwork. On this particular gift, they were instructed to complete each statement about their mom. “My mom’s favorite color is…”. “My mom’s favorite food is…”. The last question on the gift was “My mom is funny…”. And my brilliant son wrote in “never”. As I write this now, I can chuckle to myself about his answer, but at the time, I was crushed and convicted. I knew I wasn’t necessarily the “fun” parent but to be seen as never funny was a wake-up call. I decided from that point on that I needed to lighten up a little.
As a social worker, my line of work can be heavy. Subsequently, working with schools can also be hectic, unpredictable, and draining. It can take its toll on your energy, your disposition and your ability to unwind. As I’ve gotten older, I have intentionally surrounded myself with supportive and positive people, who can help to offset those negative impacts.
Enter my friend, Tom. I met him through one of my closest friends. They had recently started dating and the joy they brought to each other was evident and infectious. They would sparkle when they were in each other’s presence. They shared similar interests and enjoyed their fun experiences, traveling and exploring new places together. As in any case, the more time I spent around them, the better I got to know him. I often found myself as their third wheel, but they never made me feel like the odd man out. In fact, he treated me as his little sister, protecting me, looking out for me and ensuring I was taken care of.
To my unfathomable dismay, Tom passed away unexpectedly and suddenly just days from the writing of this blog and 2 months before his wedding to my dear friend. Tears still sting my eyes as I recount the innumerable memories and stories we’ve shared over the years. One of my favorite things about Tom was his personality. He was an expert storyteller. He would have you in stitches as he recounted experiences adding his own flavor and memorable expressions. He was quick witted and observant with his dry sense of humor. You could not be in the room with him and not feel his presence. The statement “never met a stranger” exemplified Tom. My kids tout him for his ability to greet each person with a warm hug and friendly greeting. He was truly the life of the party. Because of these things and so many more, he will be missed beyond measure.
So during this exceptionally sad time, there are still lessons to be learned. First, go to the doctor if you aren’t feeling well, don’t ignore your symptoms. And secondly, even when life is chaotic and harried, let’s work to find ways to bring joy and laughter to those moments. How can we intentionally help others feel valued, wanted, welcomed and safe? Can we greet people warmly? Can we share funny memories and stories with one another? Can we bring light and laughter to certain situations? This world will never be the same without my brother Tom, but I am determined to do what I can to carry his legacy forward as I work to bring good energy to this party we call life, just as he did.