Release

Happy New Year! It’s amazing to me how quickly each year passes. Although if you live in the northern part of our country, things are about to slow down. At least that’s how it feels during winter months. Time seems to crawl until it warms up and then it speeds up again. I don’t understand how that works, how is it that the shorter days feel longer? The silver lining in all of that is that it gives one an opportunity to reflect. As much as I hate winter, I do appreciate a slower pace after the holiday festivities conclude.

Each new year I select one word that I want to make my capstone. Instead of making a new year’s resolution (or several) I pick a meaningful word. Something to focus on for my own personal growth. Previously, I’ve chosen “motivation” or “independence” or “happiness”, to name a few. Sometimes I share my word publicly, other times I keep it to myself. This year I’ve decided to not only share it but to blog about it. My word this year is Release.

It may be obvious why that word could be a good one. If you are anything like me, you like to be in control. My close friends and I pride ourselves on being planners. In fact, for extra insurance I still use a paper calendar/day planner. I like to have everything on paper and in front of me. I have a daily to do list and have to write everything down (although that may be due to my age actually). Understanding what is happening and when, especially ahead of time, works best for me. I appreciate knowing what to expect and ensuring I’m prepared for anything that could arise. But life isn’t always predictable or steady and structured. Sometimes flexibility is needed, the ability to go with the flow and roll with things as they unfold. (The truth is there can be fun in that too). In those moments, I often find myself clinching my teeth and jaw, holding my breath or tightening my shoulders and neck muscles. There have even been occasions when I notice my toes are squeezed together. As I realize how constricted I’m carrying myself, I have to intentionally release, either my jaw, shoulders, or breath. It’s amazing how my body just automatically tenses up and how I have to deliberately relax it. It is hard to do when the workday is underway and there are pressures and responsibilities to address. But it helps to feel less drained when I pay attention and take care of myself in that way.

I’m also learning to release my thoughts and reactions. I have a habit of over thinking and/or over inserting myself into other people’s business. What did they mean when they said this? What are they thinking about how I managed that situation? What will happen if I don’t do “this” the right way? Did that person need me to jump in and handle that task for them? Did they ask for my help or input, or did I just take it on? Do I need to be the first to respond to an email or text? Do I have to check this off my list right now or can it wait? What is the urgency? Release. We don’t have control over other people’s thoughts about us (or anyone else). Release. You know your truth. That’s all that matters. Release. Loosen that jaw muscle. Release. Roll your shoulders back and down. Release. Take a breath and wait for a moment. Release. I plan to give myself time and space before just reacting. I imagine I will find that I don’t have to do all the things every time and this time next year, I’ll be better off if I just release.