Trust and Adjust
If you know me or have followed my blogs you will probably not be surprised by the fact that I like to be in control and have things go according to plan. It’s in my DNA. In fact, my dad, when he was alive, would regularly cite his “routine of life” as he would recount his daily activities. Especially in his retirement years each day was structured in a particular way that brought comfort and security. Even though I’m not yet retired, I also prefer consistency in my schedule. How many of you can relate and yet how many of you chuckled at the thought of each day looking exactly the way you planned? That is a rare occurrence, isn’t it, especially in the field of education?
By the time this blog is published we will be 25 days away from my son’s wedding. He is the first of his cousins on my side of the family to get married. It’s an exciting time! And it’s been a unique position for me being the mother of the groom. I’ve had to continually remind myself of my place in the whole scheme of things. It is not my day, and my role is to be supportive (and write a check). It’s been difficult at times to step aside and just let things play out. This is especially true when I think I have a helpful idea or opinion or a solution. However, I’m also realizing there is freedom in letting go and letting the kids handle it. This is the beauty of the Wait and Watch part of Living SLOW (wait and watch are the “W”). There have been several times when friends or family ask me questions about a number of wedding details and I can freely shrug my shoulders and say, “I don’t know, you’ll have to ask the kids.” It hasn’t been easy, but it’s been a character-building exercise for me to be ok with trusting others and the universe and adjust my way of being, thinking, doing.
What about you? What are you struggling to control or manage? Especially at this time of the year, as there are only weeks left in the school year, it can feel like so much is out of control. Last minute grading to complete, cramming in the remaining content, end-of-the-year celebrations, graduation, proms, the list is extensive. How are you going to navigate these final moments? How can you let go? Can you feel freedom in releasing some of the pressure and trusting that things will play out the way they are intended? Perhaps spend some time thinking about ways you can shrug and say, “I don’t know…”.
I just finished reading Trauma Stewardship by Burk and Lipsky. It is about finding ways to care for yourself while you are caring for others. There are some helpful takeaways in the book that I will begin to incorporate into my self-care sessions moving forward and into my own personal practice. One that stood out was about setting an intention for each day. I like the idea of beginning each day with one thing I intend to achieve. It could be as small as sharing gratitude for someone else or biting my tongue in a stressful situation when I feel like snapping. Maybe I let someone merge in ahead of me in traffic. It doesn’t have to take a lot of time or be a big undertaking. It can be simple and help the day to get started on the right path. I love the idea of being intentional about the energy we bring into the day, especially when that may be all we can control throughout the day. We can’t control what comes at us, but we can control how we respond in those moments, trusting that things will work out the way they are meant to.
Friends, as we approach the finish line or in my case near the wedding and receiving line, let’s remember to breathe, trust the universe, adjust our course as needed and wait and watch for all the goodness that lies ahead.